Dear Baby...the time is near

The last couple of days have been a whirlwind . It all started with a surprise at our visit with Dr. McNeal on Friday when she realized you were much lower than expected, effaced 75% in only one week and we were already 1cm dialated. She had to tell me twice and even then I don't feel like it sunk in. I could see the surprise on her face when I didn't start with a million questions on what that all meant. As she was walking out, she said "next week my dear". Again, I don't think it sunk in...until I got home and realized the time for your arrival had started. I had always assumed you'd be later than earlier and certainly didn't anticipate soon-to-be arrival news starting at 38 weeks. Most women would be ecstatic and do everything in the old wives tale book to get the process started at 38 weeks. But you know, I guess when I think about it, I should not be surprised as you are my son and I would not say patience is one of my virtues. It's nice to know that there is a small sign that you might be somewhat like me already. Hopefully we can teach each other patience over the next couple of years...

Saturday was our last "milestone" class, the breastfeeding class. We picked up last minute items and learned a ton, went to eat at the Good Egg in hopes I'd make the last day of Pumpkin Spice (no luck) and got ready for the highly anticipated slew of trick-or-treaters that night. I was busy outside meeting our new neighbors and adding some last minute Halloween decorations when (what now we know will turn out to be falsely assumed) I thought my water broke. After much argument and multiple opinions that all fell short of agreeing with me, I gave in and made a quick trip to the hospital. To make a long story short, they decided not to admit me as they found my water in fact did not break and even though my contractions were 2-4 minutes apart and was in "early labor" they knew how much I wanted to get home to my neighborhood of kids for the official start of the holiday season, Halloween. Besides, there really is no reason to stay in the hospital with mild contractions and gave me explicit instructions to return as soon as breathing was a "job" and I had a hard time walking and talking through them. Two days later and I'm still not experiencing what I assume they thought would come much faster than they have.

So, disappointment somewhat making itself comfortable in my system by now, I find myself confused and even more anxious for your arrival. I think the best way to describe it is tracking a package only to come home to find that the box either did not arrive as noted. I can't deny the small amout of guilt I feel now by not knowing how exciting it would have been to have a Halloween baby or to already be holding you in my arms. Aren't you supposed to rebel against what I want? Once again, I find myself in a position of someone knowing better than me and I have to find myself back to a place where I am ok with you coming on your own time, whenever it is. Everything seemed to be on track as the contractions grew at a staggering rate last night and have since died down significantly. Did someone turn the labor switch to the off position? I guess it's true what they say, that labor and delivery is as unpredicable as the weather. No two cases are exactly alike. I have no idea what to expect. And back to that whole patience thing, I can tell you, that virtue has not yet improved.

Who am I kidding? I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU FACE TO FACE! Daddy is nearly chomping at the bit.

That's it! To the old wives tales it is...

Until next time.

love,

mama